


Lay Me Down

by jemssims (morsly)



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant up until after 3x10, Comfort/Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Post 3x10, sad but hopeful?, seriously though they're meant for each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-10
Updated: 2015-12-10
Packaged: 2018-05-05 23:06:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5393642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morsly/pseuds/jemssims
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Can I lay by your side, next to you</i>
  <br/>
  <i>And make sure you're alright</i>
  <br/>
  <i>I'll take care of you</i>
  <br/>
  <i>I don't want to be here if I can't be with you tonight</i>
</p><p> </p><p>She takes a breath, squeezes his hand, and asks him what happened to Will.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lay Me Down

**Author's Note:**

> My take on what happened after 3x10. Jemma always has some raging guilt going on, and I wanted to address that. Also, I wanted to take on how you basically tell someone you want to be with them after you find out your space boyfriend is dead. So, anyways, I hope I did that to some satisfaction.

She wouldn't let go of him, and she wouldn’t speak. Her head resting on his shoulder, fingers intertwined for most of the flight home, she didn’t move. He didn’t make her. His back was stiff, and he wanted to wash his face, but he didn’t want to let go of her. He would see tears fall onto her lap, and he would rub soothing circles with his thumb on the back of her hand. Flying back stateside meant they followed the sun the whole way home, but Fitz and Simmons were almost the only ones that didn’t sleep. May flew, but she kept quiet.

When they’d crossed the Atlantic, Jemma finally spoke. “Can you tell me?” Her voice was thick, and she tightened her grip on his hand.

“Jemma, I think maybe Coul--”

She lifted her head to look up at him. “I’ll ask questions. All you have to do is answer yes or no.”

He sighed and gave her a nod.

She turned to face him. “Is Will dead?”

Fitz closed his eyes. “Yes.”

Jemma let go of his hand. “Did he die while you were on the planet? Did Ward kill him?” Her voice caught in her throat, tears started to fall silently down her cheeks.

“No.”

“Do you know--” she took a deep breath trying to calm herself. She wiped tears from her eyes. “Do you know what happened?”

Fitz stared into her red-rimmed eyes. “Yes.”

She nodded, her face crumbling. “He died when I left, didn’t he?” She tried to take his hand again, but he pulled away, reaching out to pull her against him instead. Her face rested against his chest, and he wrapped his arms around her, trying to hold her together as her body shook with muffled sobs. His shirt was damp when she finally lifted her head. “I killed so many people today.”

He wiped away a tear from her cheek. “Jemma--”

“No.” She grabbed his hand on her face. “I killed all those inhumans and I killed Will and I almost killed you.”

He set his gaze on her red-rimmed eyes. “No, you didn’t.”

“I did, I let out Andrew and I left Will and I wasn’t strong enough when Ward was trying to get to you.” She clenched her jaw, trying to hold back tears she thought she should be out of.

“Stop it.” He cupped her face with his hands, bringing her forehead against his. “You’re strong. You’re the strongest person I know. It’s not your fault Andrew killed those inhumans. Okay? You made the right call for that moment. You did everything you could to get Will back. And you don’t have to worry about me, okay? There was no way I wasn’t going to come back to you.”

Jemma pulled away to look at him properly, He could see her thinking something through.. “Fitz, I need you to know It was you.”

“What?” He dropped his hands to his lap.

“I was looking for you in the containment unit.”

“Jemma, you don’t have to--”

“No, I do. You’re always there, okay? Every moment I want to remember and every one I would rather forget. Every time I leave, you’re there when I get back, and I’m just so sorry that I keep leaving because now I know how to feels to get left here, and I never want to feel that again, okay?”

He couldn’t bring himself to nod, so he just took her hand.

“And I’m devastated.” She began to cry again. “I have a lot of stuff to work through, and this guilt is just going to eat away at me, I can feel it.” She took a breath, trying to calm down. “So I need you.” She stared at him. “And I love Will, and I need to grieve, but,” she closed her eyes forced a small smile. “You dove through a hole in the universe for me, and that’s why I had to tell you that it was you I was looking for because I need you, and I love you, honestly.”

He pursed his lips and nodded, starting to rub circles on the back of her hand with his thumb again. He couldn’t say it back. Not now. Not when she finally meant it how he wanted her to. Not when it felt like they had the weight of the world to get through before they could finally get to them. “Okay.” He pulled her onto his lap and into his arms, her head tucked in the crook of his neck. “Okay,” he mumbled into her hair.

She fell asleep there. When they landed, she got up, holding Fitz’s hand and walking with him all the way back to the bunks. Without saying a word, they split up, grabbing towels from their rooms and meandering to respective bathrooms. Jemma finished first, and Fitz was not surprised to see her curled up under his grey duvet when he came back to his room. If he focused hard enough, he could pretend that they had been pulling an all-nighter for applied molecular biology at the Academy, and Jemma had decided to take a quick nap after acing her last set of practice questions. The fantasy evaporated when she turned towards him while he was pulling a sweatshirt over his head. She was asleep, but it was an uncomfortable sleep. She looked distressed. Her cheeks were more hollow than Academy Jemma’s, and she had an angry red cut on her cheek.

He pulled back the covers and got in next to her. Academy Fitz would have slept on the floor. She stirred, opening her eyes for a moment to see him staring up at the dark ceiling. He was resting a hand over his stomach, so she reached out and laid hers on top. He moved his hand from under hers and put it on her back, inviting her to get closer. She needed no other invitation, resting her head on his chest and draping a leg over his.

For the first time in weeks, they both felt like they could breathe normally again. “I know you know, Jemma, and I know there’s a lot to get through.” He cleared his throat. “But I love you too.”

“We’ll figure it out, okay?”

**Author's Note:**

> Bring on the skinny love in 3b. I'm ready.


End file.
